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Be Cool: The Addendum for C6 Owners to Understand Their Corvette

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Ladies and Gentlemen,

Two years ago, as a public service, I wrote “Be Cool: Common Pitfalls for the C5 Owner & How to Avoid Them” as a guide to understanding the relationship between a Corvette owner and their ride. The common unit of measure in that guide is the “Coolness Quotient,” the rating of how well, as a Corvette owner, you have become the living equal to your Corvette. Let’s face facts: there is nothing more cool than the Corvette, and to own one is be seeking coolness yourself.

Much of what was written in that guide is applicable to C6 owners as well, and I encourage you all to have a read through the original Be Cool dissertation. For instance, the admonition about remembering to open the fuel door before you exit the car, or risk receiving a spanking from the fuel door when you have to reach into the car from the outside, is still perfectly relevant for C6 owners. From how to administer a smack down on a teenager driving a ricer, to appropriate clothing while motoring, to encounters with law enforcement, C6 owners will find much with which they can identify. But C6 owners have a unique challenge in cultivating a coolness quotient, a challenge unknown by owners of other generations of Corvette.

This means that an addendum to the Be Cool guide is necessary for C6 owners.

The unique challenge I refer to here is technology. The C6 has introduced, from the factory, many technological advancements to the Corvette line. These can be bewildering, intricate and in many cases, intimidating. The net effect is that the C6 has raised the bar on where Coolness Quotients must start, and this challenge is one far too many C6 owners have not fully met.

Whether you own a coupe or convertible, a Z06, or the ultimate in Corvette Cool, the C6 ZR1, this guide is intended to put your mind at ease, and establish that zen-like relationship with your car that will yield dividends in your Coolness rating. You, your Corvette, and your Coolness must be one, and you must accept that as your mantra. So, once again, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, I give you:

Be Cool:
The Addendum for C6 Owners to Understand Their Corvette

Fellow C6 Owners, once upon a time, the idea of a truly smart car was the stuff of popular fiction. A neat idea in theory, where a car could talk to you, do things for itself, find things for you and give you directions to get there, and provide you with high performance motoring into the bargain, that theory is now becoming real. You may have heard of the television show “Knight Rider” or grew up watching “Transformers” as a cartoon and now as a movie franchise. Whether it was an early 80’s Pontiac Trans Am (original Knight Rider) or a late 2000s Ford Mustang (current Knight Rider), or a concept 2010 Chevrolet Camaro (Transformers), the basic premise is unchanged: the car is actually smarter than the actor being hired to drive it.

This is not necessarily a good thing, particularly where your Coolness Quotient is concerned. Consider it this way: in one recent episode of the re-launched Knight Rider series, one of the series’ characters scoffed at Michael Knight that “it sounds like (your car) K.I.T.T. just made you his b!tch.” Translation: you cannot be truly cool if your car owns you. And in the sixth generation Corvette line, this risk is sadly beginning to manifest itself, to the detriment of Coolness Quotients everywhere.

A proper relationship between man and machine must be maintained if Coolness for both is to prevail. And this is no small endeavor, for the C6 has staked out new territory for where that relationship must begin. Now, there is no need to be alarmed. Your yin and your Corvette’s yang (or is it your yang and your Corvette’s yin?) will achieve balance if you carefully read what follows.

 
Part I: C6 101.

I suspect that even as recently as ten years ago, if someone had told you that one day, there would be a car that would not need a key to start it, indeed, that the key fob didn’t even need to leave your pocket, and that it didn’t have a proper door handle, your reaction would likely have been to suggest that the person telling you this needed to stop reading science fiction. (Well, I’m being polite for the sake of keeping a theme running. You’re reaction would probably have been more along the lines of ‘what the hell are you smoking?’ But that doesn’t advance my sci-fi theme, so I had to jettison it. Work with me, here, people.) But in 2005, such a vehicle did arrive in Chevrolet showrooms. The Corvette got an upgrade, technology-wise.

And as a C6 owner, you are now in need of an upgrade, too. I mean that in the nicest possible way. So, put your key fob in your pocket, and take a walk around the exterior of your C6. Note the sleek, racy lines. Note the big, beefy brakes. Note the aggressive stance- why the car looks like its speeding, just standing still! Suddenly, your sense of cool is peaking. Now, note the lack of a door handle.

This is the first indication that science fiction has informed the design of your Corvette. To gain access to your C6, there is no latch to be lifted, no handle with a thumb button underneath, no C3-style panel to depress with your fingers. There isn’t even a keyhole in easy sight. What there is looks like a cut out section just behind the door jamb, into which you place your hand, and squeeze a membrane.

Think about that for a moment: “squeeze a membrane.” In your entire automotive experience, have you ever heard the word ‘membrane’ used to describe a part on a vehicle? Indeed, since you completed your last biology class, have you even used the word ‘membrane’ in a sentence? Yet, here it is, on a high performance sports car. Don’t be alarmed, and don’t be intimidated- this is the first technological challenge you’re being presented with, and it’s an easy one to win. Quell your squeamishness concerning ‘membranes’ in general, insert your fingers into that cut out section, and touch the door from within that gap. You’ll notice it doesn’t feel like metal- this is normal. Now, with your key fob still in your pocket, simply press your fingers on that non-metallic panel.

When you do this, you’ll note that the window will lower itself slightly just before the door pops open. Again, this is normal: a function called ‘indexing.’ (Another term that seems odd, when used in the context of a vehicle.) Again, do not be alarmed, simply swing the door open. Your C6 has granted you access, and you have mastered your first technological challenge. Even better, the owner of that Lexus, parked across the aisle from you, is juggling a bag of merchandise and a briefcase while trying to reach into a jacket pocket and retrieve a key fob, whereupon this unfortunate Lexus owner will need to again juggle the various items they’re holding to grab the door latch- expect to get a cold look of jealousy about this from them.

Using the techniques you learned from the first Be Cool guide about the proper way to enter your Corvette, you now climb behind the wheel, and find your next challenge: there is no ignition port in which to insert a key. Seriously- have a look around the interior (just make sure no one sees you doing this.) You will see a climate control system with separate settings for driver and passenger, you’ll see an entertainment system which, depending on how your C6 came equipped, may look like a computer monitor, and you’ll see the various gauges on your dash. Lifting up the center arm rest, you’ll notice a spare electrical port, but there is no ignition here, either.

Don’t get panicky- that would be uncool. Now, take a deep breath and prepare to immerse yourself fully into the technology of the C6. We’ll start by having you pull the door closed. Doing this will cause the window to raise itself back up to its full height, the sight of which may cause you to start thinking the car is taking control, somehow. Keep repeating to yourself that your car is not K.I.T.T. This, again, is the ‘indexing’ function to ensure a consistent seal on the windows. Only worry if this indexing function does not happen.

Okay, you’re now safely ensconced within your C6, comfortable in the articulating leather seat, wondering how to start the car. Your eyes, as they look around the interior, note button with a circle of green light glowing before you. Now, ask yourself what is a green light the universal symbol for? That’s right! Push the button with the green light and you now have access to hundreds of horsepower at your command. Other interesting things begin to happen, too: Your Driver’s Information Center, located just above the steering column, begins to display the words “Corvette… by Chevrolet”, and a ghostly-green C6 crossed flags logo appears, as though its floating in the air in front of you. (You do not need to get out of the car and see if it’s really there, this is a projection from your Heads Up Display, welcoming you to the C6).

Now, if you and your C6 are new to one another, there is a third thing that should happen, but won’t until you’ve taken control of the situation and allowed it start happening. Your car needs to know you- brace yourself- by name. This is an easy bit of information to convey to your C6, and you will need to repeat it with the other key fob, as well. When properly informed by the owner, you’re C6 will conclude its start-up cycle by showing your name on the Driver’s Information Center.

Please, do not start out your relationship with your C6 by lying to it about your name- you have nothing to fear in revealing your name to your Corvette. Your C6 is not HAL, it is not going to go insane and try to kill you. Your C6 should know you, personally. In fact, it must know you, personally. Honesty is the best policy with your C6, and if you start out on the right foot, you’ll find your C6 will be quite helpful in all sorts of ways. Please, either use your real name, or a favorite nick-name you are frequently called. Have fun with this zen moment as you and your C6 bond, and please, don’t feel as though this is a loss of control in any way. This is the beginning of a relationship, a friendship, and it requires you to be as open to the experience as your C6 is.

Once you’ve done that, you can inform your C6 of things like preferences on how to adjust your articulating leather seat, the position of the steering wheel, the position of the side view mirrors and your favorite radio stations. It even recalls the volume you had on the stereo last. All of this becomes your unique identity with your C6 when you have that particular key fob with you. Even better, it will allow the car to know you, and- with the other key fob- your spouse or significant other, individually. As such, this means you need to choose carefully who the other person you allow to have access to the Corvette- with great power comes great responsibility.

One final note on the basics of getting acquainted with your C6, and it concerns your seat belt and the cinch function. For some time now, Corvettes have come equipped with a cinch function which allows you to have the seat belt hold you firmly in the seat. This is particularly useful if you are doing any hard cornering. To activate this in the C6, you simply pull the shoulder strap out to its fullest extent and release it. When it retracts, it will be locked, and you will find your ability to move around quite restricted.

Because the C6 will automatically move your seat to ‘exit position’ whenever your stop the engine and open the door, we suggest that if you wish to engage the cinch function, you do this only after you have had your C6 move your seat back into your preferred driving position. Reversing this order will lead to a hyper-tight lock down into the seat, once the seat has moved into your preferred position, making any kind of movement almost impossible. Unless you have a bondage fetish, you will likely find that loss of movement to be tantamount to a form of surrendering a certain level of control to your C6. Remember what was said about the proper relationship between man and machine being maintained?

Right, the basics have been covered. Let’s go for some seat time behind the wheel of your C6, and see what sort of technological challenges your Corvette will present on the road.
 
Part II: Who’s Your Daddy, Navi?

Congratulations, C6 Owner! In mastering the basics of developing a relationship with your C6, you have not only embarked on a journey to conquer any techno-phobia with which you might have been afflicted, you have also dramatically increased your Coolness. Well done! But remember, this is the only the beginning of the journey, and there are still bumps in the road to be managed.

So let’s get right down to it, and start smoothing out that road up ahead. To do this best, we’re going to examine a hypothetical trip you are taking in your C6 to visit a friend who has just moved- you need to show the C6 off, and gain some easy coolness points when your friend is impressed with your new ride. Now, this friend’s recent relocation is to a house you haven’t previously been to, and it’s located about an hour away, if you take the freeway. But you are a Corvette owner, and you’re up for a challenge in your C6, so you choose the long route, filled with all sorts of nice twisties. (Honestly, are you sure you want to be this ambitious so soon after getting acquainted with your C6? Very well, if we must engage in shock treatments, so be it.)

So let’s take this road trip, and break it into segments to glean an understanding of what mistakes are common to make, and what you can do to avoid them. Now, I may refer to the driver in this scenario as “you,” but I mean that in a “don’t be this guy” sort of way.

Our scenario starts with you behind the wheel, engine fired up. Now, you could engage the analogue solution of using a map book to help you find your friend’s new residence, but you’re feeling your oats now that you’ve mastered the complexities of gaining access to your C6 and starting its engine. So you decide to use your factory installed SatNav DVD-based navigation system. My, you are getting bold! Confident that you’ve read its functionality thoroughly in the supplemental literature in your owner’s manual packet, you confidently program the destination into the touch screen system, pleased with how you’ve conquered your techno-phobia. Remember the saying ‘pride goeth before the fall?’

Suddenly, a voice chimes into existence within the car: PING! “Your navigation will begin. Please obey all traffic and roadway signs.” Who is this woman? How did she get into your C6? Confused, you look around the interior of your car, startled that the disembodied voice of a woman just appeared. Did you imagine it? Was the voice just in your head?

The answer is no. That voice is the voice of a lady I like to refer to as ‘Navi’, and if you engage your navigation system, Navi will come along for the ride. But be warned- Navi’s advice will come without warning, and if you disobey her, you’ll find her friendly tones will change. But you wanted the shock therapy.

Your seat belt is fastened, and for good measure, you activate the cinch function. Putting the car in gear, you hit the street and turn your stereo on. Even in low gear on your residential street, you’re enjoying the sound of your exhaust and the feel of…

PING! “In one half mile, turn left.”

Well, thanks, but you know how to get to highway 40 from your front door. PING! “Turn left, now!” That sounded a little harsh in tone.

Executing a left turn, now on a feeder road and in a higher gear, you’re enjoying the sound of your exhaust and the feel of the...

PING! “In one half mile, bear right and merge onto Interstate 90.”

Ah, but you’re not taking I-90, and you failed to specify that to Navi before you began your road trip. Some trouble is about to happen. But you’re blissfully unaware of it, happy as you to enjoy the sound of your exhaust and the feel of the po…

PING! “Bear right and merge onto Interstate 90, now!”

We’re not going that way, honey. Highway 40 is another two miles down the road.

PING! PING! PING! “Turn right, now!”

And you thought your wife could nag. You watch your screen, and the red line indicating the route Navi thinks you should take is now behind where the system indicates you are located. Suddenly the line goes out, and a new window opens up on the screen: “Recalculating route.” Navi remains silent, as though sulking. Trust me, this isn’t over yet, and your Coolness will be sorely tested before it is.

Navi is not a female version of K.I.T.T. You see, Navi’s limitation is that she’s only as smart as the instructions she’s given, and that includes things like route preference, whether you want to travel on toll roads or not, taking a ferry, or if you entered the address of your destination correctly. That, fellow C6 owner, is down to you, and your Coolness will be affected by a lack of attention to these details. Coolness requires thoroughness, and in your zeal to get on the road and prove you’d conquered your techno-phobia, you weren’t quite cool enough.

PING! “In one half mile, turn right.”

Ah, highway 40 this time. Navi has now recalculated your route to use the one you intended to take from the outset. Preparing for the turn, you take your foot off the accelerator, and begin applying pressure to the break, marveling at the sound of your exhaust and the feel of…

PING! “Turn right, now!”

“Alright! Alright! I know!” You see, you’ve now started arguing with Navi. Don’t do that, and especially don’t do that if you have a passenger in the car. Coolness dictates you were expecting this navigation instruction.

You slow to a stop, preparing to make the turn, and shift into first, as you wait for cross direction traffic to clear.

PING! PING! PING! “Turn right, now!”

“I know!” See? It’s a hard habit to break, but you must. Frustrated, you turn, and keep the car in first gear well beyond where you could have shifted to second. Realizing this, you do a power shift to second gear, and your Driver’s Information Center flashes you a message: “Torque Management Active.”

Now, relax. This is an informational message your C6 provides you in order to maximize your driving experience. An informed driver is a Cool driver. All sorts of messages of this sort will, on occasion, flash across your DIC: “Headlights Suggested” when it becomes sufficiently dark outside, “Ice Possible” when the exterior temperature drops below 36° Fahrenheit, “Top Not Secure” if you have not latched your convertible top correctly, that sort of thing. This is information intended to alert you to something noted by your C6 about its status, and you should react accordingly.

 
Part III: Temptation, Passengers and Coolness.

PING! “Continue on this road for forty-four miles.”

Now perhaps Navi will leave you alone for a while. Smoothly shifting into a high gear, the road transitions from a four lane arterial within your city to a two lane road through the County, and as it transitions, the traffic sharing the road with you dwindles down to the point where you have the road to yourself. You’re comfortable in you C6’s pilot seat, marveling at the read-outs on your Heads-Up Display, maintaining a constant position right in front of you as miles of road are quickly chewed up under your tires.

Now, you’re having fun! This is what Coolness in a Corvette is all about! A grin begins to form on your face, as you spot a curve up ahead. Do you take your foot off the accelerator as you approach the curve? Of course not- this is a Corvette, and handling is part of the package. So you take the curve at speed.

And then something on your Heads-Up Display catches your eye: at the bottom of the floating image, you see a new number. It reads “0.42 G.” You have just discovered your lateral G-Force reading. Yes, G-force, as in gravity, astronauts being launched into orbit and revolutions around a centrifuge. Once more, the technology of the C6 has inserted itself into your motoring experience. A surprise, and a very Cool surprise at that!

But you think to yourself, “Only point four-two g’s? That’s not very high. I can do better.”

That is the temptation. No, temptation in and of itself is not uncool, but your response to temptation could be.

A sign posted off the side of the road announces another curve is coming up, and this one even sharper than the previous one: the sign warns you to slow to 40 MPH through the curve. But the temptation to push the envelope on technology is like an itch you simply have to scratch, so rather than slowing down, you actually press the pedal a little harder.

You enter the curve, surprised at how short the radius of the curve is. Well, you were warned, but didn’t heed the warning. Now you’re into a white knuckle moment as your hands become vice-grips on the steering wheel, and centrifugal forces begin to try pushing you sideways out of your seat. The cinch you affected on your seat belt stops balks this movement, but going around the curve, experiencing this hard sideways pull, and keeping your hands on the steering wheel is conspiring to jolt your heart rate to several times normal. You’re juggling a number of variables, and this sudden rush of reality creates a sort of surreality as your attention focuses to a single point in front of you.

Coming out of the curve, you glance a brief glimpse of your Heads-Up Display: “0.86 G.”

Fellow C6 owner, let’s remember something: G-force is a reading of how many “gravities” you’re experiencing, in this case, in a lateral direction. This is serious stuff, and should not to be trifled with. If you simply must see how far you can safely push the technology envelop, you must see to your own driving skills first. The limitation here is not your C6, the limitation is you. Before you try that again, perhaps a visit to a high performance driving school is in order, to sharpen your abilities for such spirited motoring.

PING! “In one half mile, turn left.”

Ah, you’ve arrived at your friend’s town, that’s apparently his street up ahead. Well done, Navi, you think to yourself, now prepared for her to advise you of the turn left moment.

Navi does not disappoint: PING! PING! PING! “Turn left, now.” And she almost sounded like she was adding the word “darling” at the end of that sentence. See, Navi can be your friend.

PING! “Your destination is up ahead, on the right.” You check the screen on your SatNav system and see a red dot up ahead. You’ve arrived, and so you pull to a stop outside the house.

Then you note the address on the house. That’s not your friend’s address. You entered the destination incorrectly, and you’re still two blocks away. Details, C6 Owner, details! Oh well, no one besides you and Navi know you made this error, and now that you’re friends, Navi certainly isn’t going to tell anyone, so we won’t deduct any Coolness points… this time.

Two blocks later, you’re now parked in front of the correct residence, and your friend is outside waiting to greet you. As you expected, your new C6 does not fail to impress your friend- Coolness is there for the taking. Your friend suggests that you go for a ride around the block- another Coolness benefit! You’re scoring big points, today.

“Um, how do I get in?” Your friend asks.

“Don’t be such a techno-phobe,” you slyly answer, and demonstrate your mastery of the membrane.

Your friend is astonished, and you can just hear the clinks of Coolness coins falling into your Coolness piggy-bank.

You further impress your friend with the fact that your Corvette knows your name when you start the engine (you take great pride in pointing out your name on the DIC as it flashes past), but don’t score quite as high when you try to point out the Heads-Up Display. From where your friend is sitting, he can’t see anything on the windshield, and having to take someone’s word for it doesn’t have the same impact as actually seeing it. Oh well, you’re still many points to the good, Coolness-wise.

The drive around with your friend is the biggest Coolness-garnering part of the experience yet, for your friend goes through shock at the amount of power, tension at how quickly you launched the C6 to speed, to finally laughing out loud at fun it is. You may have just planted the seed for a future Corvette owner. Well done! But the ride is over now, and you’ve returned back to your friends house, eager to see his wife and kids again.

“Um, how do I get out?” Your friend asks.

“Are you really this technologically challenged?” You smile. “This is the twenty-first century. You push the button,” you tell him, pointing to the button on the side of the door.

He pushes it, but continues to hold tightly to the arm-rest pull. The result is that the window ‘indexes’ down, but the door does not pop open. Your friend tries pushing on the door, but it won’t open. “Um, how do I get out?” he sheepishly asks for the second time.

Now, you could be embarrassed about this anti-climatic end to the ride that so amazed your friend, but there is no need. First of all, remember how technologically challenged you once were. You simply must keep pointing out behind the times your friend is. Ultimately, if he can’t open the door himself because he can’t help but keep holding the door pull so tightly, you may have to get out and open his door from the outside. Play this up, if it happens. Suggest that your friend should catch up with technology, and suggest he start with a cell phone.
 
Part IV: Building Confidence

There is no way to comprehensively describe all the benefits that come from mastering the technological challenge your C6 presents you with in a summary like this. Suffice it say that as you and C6 bond, and you learn to get along with Navi, you will find that your C6 will be so much more than the vehicle of first choice in your stable. It truly is a smart car, and it requires you to be smart, thorough on the details, and aware of your own limits as a driver.

Practice will make these requirements come second hand to you. And when you do, you’ll find Navi will be able to do all sorts of neat things- like find a restaurant or the closest gas station. You’ll find that your C6 will keep you informed of important things about it operating status or driving conditions that you need to know. And with these skill sets in place, your confidence in showing off your C6 will also advance, and this gives you the opportunity to ‘own’ the technology angle.

Try this little experiment on a friend, co-worker or family member who isn’t familiar with the sixth generation Corvette, and see if it doesn’t force you to suppress a grin: tell your experimentee that your C6 is so advanced, that it now makes use of bio-metric scanners to identify the owner. They’ll scoff, they’ll say that’s impossible, and then they will demand you show them. So, you oblige…

You walk out to the parking lot with your gullible victim, and invite them to try opening the door, as you stay back (remember, for this to work, you need to be out of transmitter range for your key fob, and keep that key fob in your pocket.) Your friend will try squeezing the membrane, and nothing will happen. So you walk up and squeeze the membrane- and this time the door opens. “See?” You innocently say. “I told you so.”

Get into your C6 with your friend, and continue the experiment further. Tell them that the bio-metric scanners also control the ignition. Sell them on this notion by pointing out the red and green lights on your starter button, and then holding your finger over the green circle as though its being scanned before you push it.

Yes, this experiment is slightly mischievous, and you can eventually let your victim in on the gag. But in the meantime, enjoy the benefit of being able to convince people of the advanced science fiction nature of your car. And rack up those Coolness points in the process.

Happy Motoring. Oh, and don't be like the C5 guys- remember to wave.
:)
 
I refer her as "Navchick." I never use her, I just look at the pictures!
Now, as far as the "G-meter..."
19JAN2009014.jpg
 
I refer her as "Navchick." I never use her, I just look at the pictures!
Now, as far as the "G-meter..."

1.2 G's?! :eek

You have cool points, sir. Many cool points.
 
Thank you, Darkstar. If you liked this, you should scroll back up to the first post in the thread and follow the link to read the "Be Cool: Common Pitfalls for the C5 Owner & How to Avoid Them" guide I posted a couple of years ago. Lots of applicable stuff in there for C6 owners, too.
:beer

-Patrick
 
Thank you, Darkstar. If you liked this, you should scroll back up to the first post in the thread and follow the link to read the "Be Cool: Common Pitfalls for the C5 Owner & How to Avoid Them" guide I posted a couple of years ago. Lots of applicable stuff in there for C6 owners, too.
:beer

-Patrick

Read it too. I loved it. Wish I had read the "cop savy" part about 3 days ago. Got pulled over for improperly displayed front license plate. I was using the one that you get from the NCM that mounts low. Needless to say I lost the battle.
Ray
 
< bump! >

It's that time of year again, folks. While you revive your Corvette after a winter of non-use, a winter that saw "snowpocalypse" and snow on the ground in all 50 states at one time, I remind you- coolness is your obligation as a Corvette owner. Read both this and the original "Be Cool" guide, and you'll be well positioned for the summer!

-Patrick
 
Patrick, thank you for those informative words. I read the c5 article and the c6 Addendum. As an owner of my first Vette ( 08 Coupe) I found them highly enlightening and informative. ( I plan on using the reverse sit down to get in her tomorrow morning). As far as the rice car goes, I have already taken care of that. Patrick again, thanks. Happy motoring and, " Save The Wave".
 
Patrick, thank you for those informative words. I read the c5 article and the c6 Addendum. As an owner of my first Vette ( 08 Coupe) I found them highly enlightening and informative. ( I plan on using the reverse sit down to get in her tomorrow morning). As far as the rice car goes, I have already taken care of that. Patrick again, thanks. Happy motoring and, " Save The Wave".

All part of the service we offer here in our corner of Corvette enthusiam online, FXM. I'm glad to have been of assistance.
;)
 
Very cool, I enjoyed reading that. Now I'm going to have to go read the C5 one. :thumb
 

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