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Dealing With A Loss

Jan 24, 2002
Binghamton, NY
1981Dark Blue Metallic & 2004 conv. magnetic red
I have been away for quote some time and dealing with a change in my life I never expected. its been 18 months when I received a call my son passed away even worse it was on his birthday.

He lived 350 miles away and had health issues but you never expect to deal with this and some how survive with it not being on your mind every day.

My wife and I rushed there to see him before his wish of cremation was done, but we had to wait 8 weeks for the ground to thaw so his ashes could be buried.

I have had the chance to see just how fragile life is and how things can change so quick. I hope that each person has the chance to look into their life and vision whats important, re - evaluate your priorities and direction in life because you never know when its too late to tell that person you love them.

Remember that last time to share your feelings because they might be the last thing shared.

I have rambled on quite a bit but when you feel you have given your all give a little more.
My wife and I sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I don't think anyone ever gets over the loss of a child. My sister lost a son when he was 8 years old. He and a friend were on there way home from the last day of school. Stopped to catch a few tadpoles and was crushed by a large slab of concrete that had be discarded along the bank of the small stream. That was 30+ years ago and my sister still aches from their loss.

I wish there were words to ease the pain, if there are I don't know them. Our heart go out to you and your family.

Yes life is short and we don't realize how short until it comes face to face with us, may your son be in a better place and may he rest in peace..

Bud & Nanc Dougherty
Sorry for your loss. Cherish your great memories, but look up and ahead, and take care of yourself.
Yes, that's one of those things that people should not have to do in life. You never know what life will throw at you. Please know that I have said a prayer for you tonight.
Chuck, I'm at a loss for words. My sincere condolences for your loss. I think I'm going to go hug my kids... :cry

Sorry for your loss Chuck...

you never get over it...you get used to it!!!
so sorry to hear. I am at a loss for words.. When i see my daughter later, i will hug her. :cry

My condolences and prayers for you and your family, "chokcey." I have a pretty good idea what you're going through at the moment.

I hadn't made it public knowledge here on the forum before now, but my mom passed away this past March. She'd been in quite a bit of pain with back problems associated with osteoporosis, poor circulation, and had mobility issues connected to diabetes. It all finally caught up with her after a more-or-less routine operation to restore circulation to her legs/feet; she was in recovery, but rapidly declined due to colitis apparently brought on by her circulatory problems. I had to rush home to Pittsburgh, and made it there only a day before she passed. I really didn't get the chance to speak with her at that point, as she'd was essentially on life-support and heavily sedated. Fortunately, I didn't feel like there was anything left unsaid between us; I'd expressly taken a long-term job assignment that put me in Kentucky between 2009 and 2013, just to make it possible for me to travel home more frequently -- solely based on the knowledge that both of my parents were in their 80's and had far fewer days ahead of them than behind them... Months later, I still feel the loss -- almost daily.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my story. Just though it would help to know there are friends on the forum who are happy to give you a proverbial shoulder to cry on, if you need it...
So very sorry my friend

I am at such a loss for words, I wish I could find some that could possibly make your pain subside somewhat. I can't imagine the feeling that you and your family must go through everyday. Nobody should have to outlive their children. Chuck our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I will be in touch. Take care my friend.
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Chokey, no words can describe what you are going through. The closest thing I can do to an arm on a shoulder in the forum is to give your post a "like"- although I dislike what you are going through.

Prayers my friend... prayers for you and your family.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You are so right saying that people should not let things unsaid. It is terrible to lose a child. My sister's son was killed in a car accident at age 30. My sister never, ever got over it.

My deepest condolences to you and your wife.

I am deeply touched by your notes and how an event like this has happened to others.

I talked with Eric (son) 2 days before and he was not feeling well, he did receive his birthday gifts the day before and he enjoyed them. He asked if I would be coming to see him soon and I said yes. Little did I know it would be to confirm his remains.

I want to thank each and everyone for your kind words, it does help when I tend to bury those feelings and thoughts. It made me feel a little better just to open up some but there are many bumps ahead yet the sun comes up every day and I have to find a way to do something positive.

Again, thank you very much.

Chuck, in the short-term, burying thoughts and feelings works but I know from painful experience the folly of suppressing sorrow for too long. When my grandfather passed away suddenly, I was torn up and overwhelmed. At the time, I was living thousands of miles away, literally coast to coast. I went to the funeral but then had to return to the west coast after only a few days with my parents, siblings and extended family. My then-wife (now ex-wife) was at best unsympathetic and unsupportive... I had two small children so I put my grief aside and got on with life. I'm still unwrapping some of those self-imposed bonds more than ten years later.

If you find your grief overwhelming, may I suggest seeking counseling whether through a psychologist or clergy? Although I was initially reluctant to seek help, I've found that counselling was hugely helpful.


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