Well, ten hours later, I finally eliminated the squeak in my car's rear end. It wasn't the wheel bearing at all, it was the outer u-joint on the axle.
A week ago I took it to Lex Brodie. "It's not a u-joint, it's the differential." They told me to go to the corvette place on queen street, so I go there. "It's not the differential, or the u-joint, it's the muffler." He pounds on the muffler and tells me to go to the muffler place. I visit the muffler place and he tells me it's not the muffler.
In frustration, I took the day off today and tore apart my knuckle, bearing, and axle. The bearing was fine, but the u-joint was all squeaky and clunky. "A-ha!" I was right all along.
Today was the day I learned that no one around here will help you if you work on your car yourself. I called all the repair shops and they were all too busy to press a u-joint. I guess ten minutes of labor isn't worth it to them. One woman told me "don't drop it off today, or any other day. We're too busy. We're busy every day." My vise is too small, so I go to Sears and buy a monster vise.
Pressing out the old u-joint was a BEAR. Followed these excellent instructions, by the way:
http://personal.tmlp.com/scorp/vette/images/ujoints/index.html
The old u-joint was all rusted in, it took all my strength and a length of pipe on the vise handle to remove it. J*sus, that thing was on tight. The new one went in as smooth as butter. I opened the cap on the old one and it was filled with rusty powder...no bearings left! I kept remembering the repair shops: "well, all your u-joints are fine."
If anyone ever tells you that the squeak isn't what you think it is, take their information with a grain of salt.