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Letters From BUBBA


Well-known member
Apr 5, 2004
Jacksonville, Fl
'81 dark blue
Hello all! I just made my first performance mod on my recently purchased 1981 Corvette and wanted to share the moment with you. Everybody knows what dogs these cars are for performance, and the computer is the culprit, so I got rid of it. While it doesn’t really feel any faster, it’s definitely burning a lot more fuel, so I’m sure I picked up a few ponies, if ya’ll know what I mean. Next I plan to get rid of a few of the anti-pollution things for even more power! I’ll write again soon, Bubba

Well, today was a bad day. The local police stopped me just because of a little black smoke coming from my tail pipes and ticketed me for it! Oh well, I already was planning on trashing that junk Quadajet for a real carb like a Holley. This just moved up the time table a bit. My wife’s a little upset because I took the $500 she had stashed for the rent and used it to buy the carb, but hey, I gotta have my car working too! So now that I’ve got a real performance carb, I bet she’s really going to fly. The only problem is I can’t get her to crank up and stay running right now. Probably some kind of choke adjustment or something. I’ll write again as soon as I get this straightened out. Can’t wait to burn rubber, Bubba

More frustration! I finally gave up and took it into a shop to get the Holley adjusted. The guy seemed real good with carburetors, and he got her to run, but he told me that I was not getting any timing advance and needed a new distributor. I had to hock my best shotgun (and some of my wife’s jewelry she don’t wear too much, I don’t think she’ll miss it before I get it back) just to pay the guy the $400 for adjusting the carb and putting in the new distributor. I thought that would take care of it, but this morning, it still did not want to start. After pumping and grinding and pumping more and plenty of backfires (my neighbors are loving this), I finally got her going again, but I’m taking it back to the shop Monday to get this fixed right. I’ll let you know how it goes, Bubba

My repair guy is a jerk! He says it is all set as good as it will get, and that most people don’t even bother with the chokes on these things. Well I’m not real happy about that, but I think I have a few theories about how to get it right. First, I’m getting rid of that big, ugly air cleaner with the vacuum cleaner hoses and I'm putting on an open element so the carb can breath. While I was at the parts store picking up the air cleaner, I went ahead and got one of those flex-fans to pick up even more extra power. Boy when I finish tweaking this baby, she’s gonna fly! Bubba

Of all the bad luck! I think I got a lemon of a Vette. After putting all this work into it, the car started overheating. But that was an easy fix, I just popped out the thermostat. The real problem is that the tranny died. Seems these ’81s have some strange electrical turbo350 or something. The guy at Aamco gave me a sobering price (and with as many PBR’s as I downed today, that’s saying something). But he said he would not guarantee it because of something about the converter frying the fluid by not locking up? I think maybe he had downed a few too many PBRs himself. Well, anyway, my cousin has an old Camaro out in front of his double wide just for decoration and he owes me a few favors. I think I’m going to go by his place and see if it still has a transmission and pull it out. Hopefully I’ll be back “tearing up the streets” again soon. Bubba

I give up. This car is hopeless. I’ve done everything I know to make it faster and it’s getting 9 miles per gallon and won’t outrun a soccer mom in a mini-van. I’m selling it. I not greedy, so I’d be willing to let her go for what I’ve got into it with no return on all the labor I have invested. So, If any of you know of someone looking for a great deal on nice Vette, send them my way. Well at least the whole experience hasn’t been a total loss. With all the Vette expertise I’ve gained with this car, a can now go on Corvette forums and help other people modify their cars! See you around, Bubba
Dear Bubba,

I need some help with the women, it seems you know how to handle them just right.

What's the best pickup line you've used?


Hey baby!

Nice tooth.
Hey Bubba :

I am sorry to hear about your experience with the '81.

I might be interested in your car..

Does it have its original Flux Capacitor or is it a rebuild ? Please let me know, Thanks !

Dear Bubba,

I'm having electrical problems and found a place where 7 wires are twisted together. Looks like the connection is kinda loose. Will carpenters glue solve the problem?
Are you from buzzards roost Ohio?
best pick-up line

Hey lady have you heard about the new 60 second sex? Well do you have a
Works every time, almost!;LOL
Dear Bubba,

I'm having electrical problems and found a place where 7 wires are twisted together. Looks like the connection is kinda loose. Will carpenters glue solve the problem?

I personally never trust any connection that has not been reinforced with duct tape. Bubba

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